My dear friend, Anita Finlay, author of “Dirty Words On Clean Skin,” has written an outstanding piece about Bill Maher, which she is allowing me to post here.Thank you so much, Anita – as always, you hit the nail on the head.
Anita’s post is below:
Why Do Bill Maher and Sexists Like Him Get a Pass?
By Anita Finlay (“Ani”)
Election results in the 2010 midterms revealed a surprising drop-off in the numbers of women who voted for Democrats, so President Obama’s current push to woo women back to the fold is not surprising. The debate is being framed as “Republicans’ war on women.” But the real war on women is something entirely different than we are led to believe. It cannot be contained in sound bites and is not restricted to reproductive rights or contraception. Once again, women are being condescending to as one-issue voters and used as a political football, yet their overall treatment at the hands of mainstream media, politicians, advertisers, or comedians has not changed.
Why are we loath to examine the relentless brainwashing that marginalizes women? First, we would have to admit that our society is not quite as evolved as advertised. And why are the abusers not called to task, or if there is an outcry, why are they quickly and easily forgiven? Is the current pace at which we function so demanding that we cannot retain the acts of any culprit’s wrongdoing for more than a few days?
Bill Maher recently endured a firestorm of criticism for his hideous comments about Sarah Palin. The President was criticized for not demanding the return of a $1 million donation Maher made to a SuperPAC aimed at Mr. Obama’s re-election, but that criticism, too, faded into the background, buried by the relentless 24 hour news cycle. Yet there is more at fault here than just a busy news day.
Never content to sit on the sidelines, last Friday the notorious Maher waded into more hot water by commenting on the ‘mommy wars’ controversy ignited by political operative Hilary Rosen’s comments on Ann Romney. Rosen commented that as Mrs. Romney is a wealthy stay-at-home mom, she cannot relate to the concerns of struggling working women. Aside from the dust up generated by the accusation that she did not respect stay-at-home moms, I suspect offense was taken because Rosen made these remarks about a woman who raised five sons while battling multiple sclerosis and breast cancer.
Then Maher had to chime in (via Politico):
“What [Hilary Rosen] meant to say, I think, was that Ann Romney has never gotten her ass out of the house to work.”
Once again, the White House has “distanced” itself from Maher. But the $1 million remains in the President’s SuperPAC war chest – at least, for now. Even George Stephanopoulos wondered how long the President could hold out before finally cutting Maher loose in a public way. There is ample reason for the President to do so. But will he? And since President Obama took the time to call Sandra Fluke to express support after Rush Limbaugh’s horrid comments that she was a “slut” and a “prostitute,” perhaps some of the other women Bill Maher has insulted would like a phone call, too.
After Maher’s earlier hot water incident regarding Sarah Palin, Senior ABC correspondent Jake Tapper was all too willing to give Maher a forum to defend himself. In their interview, Maher came up with the lame justification that he is “a potty mouth, not a misogynist” and once again hid behind the safety net of “I’m just a comedian.” Too often, he holds himself up as a political commentator. Neither pundit nor comedian should get away with this behavior – yet both do. A man who respects woman does not refer to them as “c**ts,” “dumb twats” or say they should be “splayed out on the hood of a car.” There is no “context” in which that would be acceptable – as joke or otherwise – despite his excuse making.
The New York Times and the Washington Post immediately allotted him editorial space so that he might move the damaging debate six degrees to the right , namely by targeting “faux outrage” and an endless need to apologize. While he would not dare mention the flap about his misogynist comments directed at women, his posts had the desired effect; distracting and thereby rescuing him from the spotlight’s bright and damaging glare.
Clearly, he moved on and Maher, the shock jock, felt comfortable enough a couple of weeks later to jump into yet another maelstrom.
Hilary Rosen has been shunned by both sides for her remarks about Mrs. Romney. But what will happen to Bill Maher as a result of making comments that were far more offensive? If your answer is nothing, you are likely correct.
We seem almost anxious to forgive men for their sexist transgressions, yet women on the receiving end of verbal abuse, shaming, objectification and marginalization are asked to take it in stride and told to “lighten up.” And if a woman is guilty of wrongdoing, would she be forgiven? Would the other women or men condemning her “lighten up?”
If Tiger Woods were a woman who had cuckolded her husband with numerous affairs and risqué sexual behavior with multiple partners, do we really believe that the golfing world and society at large would be so eager to “rehabilitate” him and welcome him back into the fold? He is out on the circuit, winning tournaments. It’s business as usual. If Tiger Woods were ‘Tanya’ Woods – it is doubtful Tanya would be treated quite as well. Even in this day and age, a woman would wear a scarlet letter for the rest of her life. Woods’ relatively recent transgressions are barely mentioned any longer.
Perhaps part of the reason some men exonerate their brothers is that they themselves feel guilty, knowing they have the same thoughts – or, in the alternative, that they wish to save any man from the wrath of “mean mommy.”
No one likes their nose rubbed in a mistake and if we were to admit we condone this behavior and that it is damaging, we also have to admit complicity in allowing it to happen without protest. Better to minimize it than to stare down the elephant in the room.
Bill Maher is just another cog in the wheel, continuing the effective brainwashing that says no matter what a woman does, we will find something wrong with it – if that woman does not toe the particular party line.
Politically, it is easier to divide and conquer to keep women in line at the voting booth. The practice keeps us more malleable. Then the natural order is not threatened, If women were able to find some compromise on reproductive rights or declare a truce in the name of the dire economy, politicians of both parties would find themselves in a great deal of trouble. They would have to address women as powerful individuals with concerns as diverse as any man. Woman control the purse, too and care about the economy, gas prices, housing starts, outsourcing of jobs, education and the future of their children. Women can do the math.
The real war on women is waged by both the left and the right – another inconvenient truth. As long as we are kept busy with schadenfreude, tearing down Ashley Judd for her “puffy face,” declaring the Hillary Clinton is “conniving” or “ego driven and power hungry,” or declaring that Sarah Palin is a neglectful mother, an “idiot” or a “twat”; as long as we project negative images of women, there is less competition and also less likelihood that we will stray into less convenient territory.
Will these tactics continue to work? If I’d learned anything in 2008, it is that women have an endless capacity to settle for crumbs rather than standing up to claim the cake. As long as accountability is doled out in a one-sided fashion and women continue to play along, as long as women are held to a different standard by men and by other women…
Yes. They will.
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Anita Finlay is the author of Dirty Words on Clean Skin: Sexism and Sabotage, a Hillary Supporter’s Rude Awakening, now available on Amazon in print and on Kindle. Please visit her website at www.anitafinlay.com
brought this up from downstairs because it fits in here
NO lady the just get over it is no longer going to happen
http://weaselzippers.us/2012/04/17/dem-gov-bev-perdue-on-nc-democratic-partys-sexual-harassment-scandal-get-over-it/
Amen to that, Helenk. It is most appropriate for Anita’s outstanding post.
I simply cannot believe that response. She is right that it is illegal and all, but I love how she then tries to bury this issue as one of a “personnel” issue. Please spare me.
GREAT post, Anita!!
And did you see this?? Gov. Perdue had declared April “Sexual Assault Awareness Month”!! Holy cow: http://dailycaller.com/2012/04/17/nc-governor-who-downplayed-harassment-allegations-declared-april-sexual-assault-awareness-month/
the dems continue to amaze with their denseness
check this one out
backtrack took us from the darkness into the light.
please make sure their is nothing in your stomach when you read this
http://weaselzippers.us/2012/04/17/mooch-this-president-has-brought-us-out-of-the-dark-and-into-the-light/
Ohmygosh – I cannot believe she said it. I blurted it out to my brother, and then made mention of the whole “oceans will slow their rise” thing. He had never heard abt that whole thing. Unbelievable.
Seriously, what is WRONG with these people? Do they really, REALLY, think he is the Messiah?
There is some mistaken misconception amongst the educated elites that “awareness” means the issue has been resolved. Hey, were aware. OK, lets move on. Give it a day or month or a ribbon if need be, just to make sure.
Cuz—What on earth is the matter with her?! Something’s really screwy about that!
http://freebeacon.com/legislating-equality/
maybe for one time using women for political purposes might work out to their advantage
Good for him for bringing this up. And what impressive numbers for women in terms of degrees received. And yet, the pay disparity continues…
maybe because people see things like
meeechele obama going on the David Letterman show after all the comments he made about Sarah Palin and not ever apologizing for them.
How many demeaning comments has backtrack made, about Hillary, to female reporters and people just let it go?
It is no longer unacceptable to demean women. Both men and women just let it go. many people use the excuse ” oh you are overreacting , they were just kidding”
maher makes a living demeaning women, if his income was cut due to his ignorance he might get it
I am not OK with this whole “hes just a comedian!” thing. Its bullshit. John Stewart and Bill Maher are NOT “just comedians”.
They say something outrageous. I am genuinely outraged. They put on a clown hat, point at it, and tell me “hey baby! its just comedy!”
Utter bullshit.
Bingo. He makes millions appealing to the lowest common denominator. That is his stock in trade. I promise you it is all business. and if it were not good business, he would become a Bible salesman, if he thought that would make him a million.
He does not have a prinicpled stand on anything. I have seen him change his tune many times in an effort to stay relevant and ahead of the curve.
Lets just say that a woman such as Hillary Clinton is “ego driven and power hungry”. She probably is, I think most politicians are.
The real question for me is why is this bad for her, yet a-OK for the men.
Ditto on the “conniving” (an awesome sounding word to my ear!) – this is a word used against women but not in general against men. But who is more “conniving” than Obama and his Chicago posse?
If we are OK with these things for men, lets be OK with them for women. Or even better, not OK with either gender. One nice thing Palin said somewhere was that politicians should work with a servant’s heart. I found that a really nice goal. You politicians work for us, or should.
As for Maher, he is absolutely free to be an asshole in his house and his private life, plenty of people are. Why he continues to be welcome on American television is beyond me. But hes a lefty, so whatever he says is fine. And whatever Rush says is not fine. Welcome to 2012 where its just about the politics.
And speaking of female politicians and lefties, can we stop calling the president of Argentina “center left” yet? Or does she need to nationalize a few more businesses and steal a few more depository accounts first?
Referring to the mini dust up today because Hillary took a half hour out of her crazy schedule to have a beer with her associates, a blogger on Shakesville made a brilliant comment:
We take polls to see which male politician we would most like to have a beer with, but a female politician having a beer is an “embarrassment.” got it.
Anita, I cannot believe anyone is giving her crap abt this. As I have said previously here, when was the last time this woman went on vacation? She is a total workhorse, and they would begrudge her a few HOURS of blowing off steam when Obama takes his family on lavish vacations at our expense? Really?? His justification is that he “works hard,” to which my retort is “on his handicap.” Just unbelievable.
And hc – great comments. You are spot on.
it was only one half hour, I wish she could have enjoyed herself longer.
wondering
why the media is making such a big deal out of this and why the pictures were taken in the first place????? afraid backtrack?????????
http://legalinsurrection.com/2012/04/the-tea-party-the-greatest-feminist-movement/
a really good read about women are not going to sit down, shut up and just get over it anymore
check out this video
there was a link to it in the comment section of the above post
I had never heard of this until the above link
http://www.libertyorlies.com/
off topic and WHOA BABY
BUY POPCORN
http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2012/04/17/Obama-recess-appointments-lawsuit
the republicans are suing backtrack over the recess appointments
Whoa…Yes, more popcorn!!
found this interesting
http://www.newser.com/story/144249/how-hbo-became-uncool.html
maybe it needs new programing that does not insult women
There’s a thought! And it would be abt time, too…
Anita—-Fantastic post—-thank you so much! Also, I am really enjoying your book—I know you must be so proud of it. I appreciate all of the time and energy that went into writing it!
And thank you, Cuzn Amy, for reposting Anita’s terrific article.
As for why Bill Maher gets a pass…. Because he has a note from his doctor?
( Dr. Strangelove, that is–or is it Mengele? or Frankenstein? HA!)
I vote Mengele! That is the only answer that makes sense. I really don’t know how he gets away with it and I find it terrifying that there are enough people out there (some of them otherwise very smart and otherwise lovely, believe it or not) who will defend him at all costs and think he is brilliant. I am appalled at the blinders they wear regarding his behavior. It has made me question everything I always believed. But then again, that is part of the journey of my book, isn’t it?
And thank you so much, cindyindie, for your support of my work. I’m glad you are enjoying Dirty Words and look forward to hearing your thoughts when you are done. There is a contact page on my website if you would like to write to me. Yeah, I am very proud of it. A lot of work that I am grateful I was able to bring to fruition…
I could not have done it without the amazing support of my husband, my friends, and my dear friend Amy here — who has been a champion of this effort from the beginning!!! Amy, you rock!!
Big hugs, cindy, really.
Thank you, Anita!
Anita, truly my pleasure. It is an honor and a privilege to call you my friend. And this work was well worth championing – it is so important that this history not be lost, and thanks to you, it won’t be!
That is an amazing gift, IMHO…
results of Arizona special election for Giffords seat
http://www.azcentral.com/news/election/results-index.php
I was so hoping it would be Martha McSally
I was, too. Very disappointed abt that…
Women are fired up.
Harp!! Thank you for that video!! I am defintiely going to support them. I really appreciate your posting that.
Makes me think there is some REAL “hope” out there!
Indeed, thanks so much, harp – fantastic!
Love it!
Harp!! Thank you for that video!! I love it make it viral
here is a race baiter that not only gets a pass , but is catered to by the backtrack bunch.
why al sharpton is not in jail for back taxes is a question maybe the backtrack bunch should answer
http://freebeacon.com/more-money-more-problems/
Heck, why isn’t Charlie Rangel in prison for failing to pay his taxes?! It’s amazing the people who get a pass…
love this video
http://usamericanfreedom.com/
better link
http://www.pjtv.com/?cmd=mpg&mpid=84&load=6858
Fantastic! Thank you, Helen!
Way O/T but another American icon has passed…..America’s Oldest Teenager, Dick Clark, dead at the age of 82. How much fun and entertainment did he bring many of us over the years? R.I.P. sir…
http://tv.yahoo.com/news/dick-clark–entertainment-icon-nicknamed–america-s-oldest-teenager—dies-at-82.html
“Say What You Will…It Feels So Good”
Finally!! Someone else sees that Bill Maher is a sexist idiot! I remember when I first saw him on TV when I was quite young, I was in middle school I think, and he had 3 men and 1 women on his show and they just wouldn’t let up, everything she said was mocked and he used every comment as a step stool to feed his superiority complex! I remember he infuriated me then and he infuriates me now!
Maher is such an incredible misogynist. I cannot believe he continues to be giving any air time at all. Yet, too many people think his brand of sexism is “cool.” Spare me.
Right! I know free speech is a right everyone deserves, but when you have someone like Rush Limbaugh out there say one thing get a lot of flack for it, lose sponsors and is forced to apologize and then you have Maher on the other end of the spectrum doing the same thing for years and nothing happens to him? It makes no sense! Either something should happen to everyone who makes derogatory remarks, or nothing happens to anyone, this picking and choosing crap needs to stop.
Ugh.. even looking at Maher makes me anger! LOL!
LOL – I totally understand THAT.
I am not a fan of Limbaugh’s, but you are right – this double standard is just so glaring in its hypocrisy. Comparatively speaking, what Limbaugh said was TAME compared t some of the words Maher has uttered on tv or on stage. Yet, he continues to have a job and a platform.
Sheesh.